​Talking LGBTQ+ With Your Children, Adolescence and Teens

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Kids don’t come with a training manual. It is hard to know what to say or how to do things ‘right’ when it comes to helping them grow up. The Oak Creek Relational Counseling Center cares about providing resources to our community that can help us have hard conversations with our youth. Today’s topic is in honor of Pride Month so we are going to be talking about ways that we can discuss LGBTQ+ topics in the home. 

This is important to explore whether you or any of your family members identify as LGBTQ+ because right now, those populations are suffering from high rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide. According to the Trevor Project, 52% of LGBTQ youth who were enrolled in middle or high school reported being bullied in person or electronically. Transgender and nonbinary students (61%) reported higher rates of bullying compared to cisgender LGBQ students (45%). The statistic are even more harrowing for LGBTQ students of color. 

Overall LGBTQ youth are four times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers.

These statistics can be overwhelming and leave us feeling like we are fighting an uphill battle, but the first line of action can be taken by you in your home. Starting the conversation can be the hardest part, but the Oak Creek team came up with some great starting points you can do with your actions.

1. Be conscious of gendered speech and pronouns. Instead of asking, “do you have a boyfriend?” you could ask, “is there someone special in your life?”
2. Wait for the kids to be ready to talk about their own gender and sexuality. If you want to purchase pride support items to show them you are open and care, purchase them for yourself instead of purchasing it for the child unless they outright ask for them.
3. Show them you see and support the queer people in your life. Include them by inviting them to group outings with your children, allow them to see you be outraged if you find out people weren’t treating them with respect. 

Some questions that could be good to use to start the conversation come to us from EducateEmpowerKids.org.

• Do you know what LGBTQ stand for?
• Do you know anyone who’s identifies as LGBTQ?
• Do you understand that people can fall in love with people of the same gender?
• Does anyone treat them differently?
• Are you aware of derogatory terms for LGBTQ individuals?
• What do you think about that?
• How do you think those terms and/or bullying affects the individual, family members, or friends?

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These questions can show that you are open to talking about all topics even if it can be difficult to discuss. The concept has been labeled as, “leaving the door open.” It doesn’t mean that they need to tell you where they are with their gender or sexuality but showing that you are comfortable talking about these topics in general leaves the door open for them to come speak to you about things of that nature later if they find themselves wanting to share that with you or needing your help in protecting and caring for themselves. 
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If you’d like a resource on speaking with children about mental health in general, take a look at one of our blogs from last month.

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